Especially for who?

The Acceptable Geek Club is worried about love. As we have said before, it is not just school girls that dream about someone in shining armour coming and rescuing them. Geeks just want rescuing from different things.
The Acceptable Geek Club is also worried about presents. Giving a present to the one you love is a fine art. In the early stages of a relationship a present for a birthday or Christmas can certainly feel like a make or break deal. Perhaps it is. Regardless, in every loving relationship there should be a desire to buy a present that will please one’s partner, and there is an expectation of receiving one in return. How else will you know if that person really knows you?
The first rule is simple: never buy a present for you or for who you want your partner to be. By all means take your girlfriend to see City of God, it will broaden her appreciation of world cinema and the social problems of developing countries. However, buying it her as a present with the same motivation is not acceptable. Similarly, do not buy her Super Mario Bros Wii or the complete novels of Dan Abnett on the grounds that you will “both enjoy it”. You won’t.
However, this is hardly revolutionary stuff. What worries us more is the tendency of newly domesticated geeks to throw money at their respective partners without a thought for the consequences. £100 necklaces? Champagne and oysters at Gordon Ramsey’s? We’ve seen it all on modest incomes by people with cheap tastes.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with money and spending it on the one you love. Whilst the Acceptable Geek Club has issues with capitalism, it accepts that it is by far the best system for geeks and others to live in. However, what is discouraging is the kind of people that operate within that system and their peculiar attitudes, particularly towards presents. For many a geek the equation for buying presents is simple: expensive = good and expensive jewellery = double plus good. There is nothing intrinsic in capitalism that encourages this attitude, but it does permit it and the art of buying presents is disfigured as a result.
As with most art, once the primary goal becomes the spending and generating of money real value is usually lost. Yes, a silver Celtic cross may cost £100 and come in a nice Tiffany’s box but does it say anything to your loved one? Are they Christian? Are they Celtic? Do they even like and/or suit silver? To really touch someone takes thought, not money. Geeks are thinkers. Geeks are creative. Geeks should be great at presents.
Do not fear spending money on something they will really love, but do not spend lots of money in the hope that they will love it. Rather, look to the simple things like cards, mix tapes or a particularly beautiful, hand crafted, fair trade bracelet. If possible, make or plan something yourself. This will say more about you, and your feelings for them than a thousand gaudy watches. This may not even be the most expensive item you buy them, but for better or worse it will be the one they remember. And if the person don’t love it, the person ain’t worth it.