Statorific! Geekin' about the election

If geeks love statistics then the election is a great time for geeks. For the next six weeks the election will, with increasing disinterest, infiltrate itself into every moment of our daily life. Conversation down the pub? Depending on the intellectual bent of your acquaintances, immigration or quantitative easing is bound to come up. Out on a date? Knowledge of Green Party policy may well be the clincher. Dinner with Gran? Well, what really are the chances of that nice young Tory chap?

Now is a great time for the Acceptable Geek to strike. With the right statistics even the most recycled “election conversation” can be made exciting and entertaining. No longer will a detailed knowledge of Britain’s last hung parliaments be met with blank stares (1974, 1929 and, arguably, 1996). For once, that detailed knowledge of the Lib Dems strength in the South West will come in handy, and that well rehearsed joke about the impact of too much cider being drunk there will get a laugh. Maybe, just maybe, your rant about the digital economy bill being rushed through parliament without proper regard for the online community will receive roars of approval. Or maybe not.

As a member of the geek club (though not necessarily the Acceptable Geek Club), the reader no doubt has access to his own source of interesting, infuriating and perhaps even reliable statistics. However, indispensible over the next month and a half will be a detailed understanding of the UK electoral system, the bias of the first past the post system and the swing needed for various parties to take various seats. Statistics about education spending, the deficit and red tape can be used to support one’s political persuasion, but to the real geek the system, the pure system, is the real source of interest. With statistics about the system one can sit Zeus like above the ramble of political debate and make pronouncements from on high about, when the shouting is done, who will govern Britain. In the run up to the election, the role of the geek, the acceptable geek, is to deliver this manna from heaven to friends and companions. A knowledge of the system will enlighten, engage and, with the right level of wit, entertain.

We’re saying nothing new here, but the most invaluable source of election statisticory is the BBC's excellent election website (and consider that if you get into a debate about cutting the licence fee). Bursting with socio-economic facts about every constituency and its previous election results, the real icing on the cake is the playable swingometer. Though no longer governed by uber-geek Peter Snow, we have great hopes for Jeremy Vine on election night and it allows the user to play about with every possible type of swing and its repercussions for the make up of parliament. There is also excellent information on just why this election may be, despite the polls, very hard for the Tories to win. The up to the minute election blog, however, is a bit much. Surely not even the most geekiest geek could not want that much, pant sniffing detail of the leader's lives.

Before signing off, a word of caution. The advent of the election is no excuse for the worst excesses of party affiliated political geekery. The worst of these geeks (either rain-coated and walking-booted Lib Dems or besuited Tories) are almost always loaded with often skewed statistics that they will berate anyone with in an attempt to convert the unfaithful or preach smugly to the choir. Worst of all however, is the way they wear their geekery – a cross they bear in order to bring hope and justice to the masses of Briatin. Geekery should never be thought of like this. It is of great service to, and brings great pleasure to, individuals to be smart and overly knowledgeable about obscure topics. Don’t pretend you’re doing it for the Greater Good, its simply alienating and unbecoming. And maybe that’s part of the problem with British politics today.

To end, a prediction? The Acceptable Geek Club will never do your thinking for you. And anyway, Disraeli had a very good point about statistics.